When The Unreliable Is Unreliable...

Monday, January 15, 2018

We have likely all been there - known at least one person whose only reliability is in being unreliable. 
Whose main consistency is in failing to follow through. 
Whose ongoing refrain is "I'm going to... ." and rarely, "I've done this", or "completed that"

For these challenged and challenging folks - the world is likely against them, time is not on their side and often somebody else
has 'done them wrong'.  It is important for you to be clear that whether their behavior is conscious or unconscious - it is - and for now at least, it serves neither of you well to pretend that what does exist - does not. 

If this is who you are - it is NOT too late to look into your own mirror and, likely with help, begin to pinpoint what's happening with you and actively look at becoming the responsible, reliable adult you, your family, friends, and colleagues deserve.  It is not sufficient to tell yourself you've always been these way and continue along the same path.  
There are reasons for your lack of ability to honor your own word.  
These "reasons" are not carved in stone.  Change is possible - and healthy. 

If this is NOT you, but someone in your life upon whom you rely --- you do yourself and the other person a tremendous disservice. You know who is unreliable - not because they disappointed you one time - but because over the months and years this individual has fairly consistently been unable to follow through.  No amount of tears, anger, yelling, cajoling, threatening, pouting or the like will bring about the long-term effect you want.  If you have a pattern of bringing this type of person in your life - you owe it to yourself to uncover your conscious/unconscious drivers.  If this is not a pattern - YAY! However, be clear that in your own best interest - looking for reasonable, healthy alternatives is much less stressful and much more healthy than trying to turn someone else into the person they deserve to be - but at least for now, are not.

Gift yourself with honoring your own word. 
Gift yourself with friends who do the same.

Pamela - MyNDTALK